Sunday, June 17, 2018

Father's Day Weekend Poem

Search History

After we read and say goodnight I see your chromebook glows
It glows so I sit for a moment at your little desk
I click and I click and this is what worried daddies do in the dark
When their little girls go to bed

Do boys like tomgirrls or girllygirls
Do boys like shy girls?
Talking when boys talk when boys are funny
How do I get flat firm my tummy
Exercises for flat bellies
Short girls are pretty girls too?
Short girls or funny girls
Diets for girls healthy and good for you
Pretty girls popular girls
Straight hair or wavy curls?
How do I grow and when will i be the right size?
How to be poppular and pretty
Pretty hair and pretty eyes

And I sit and the light glows
The rest of the room quiet and dark
(She always falls asleep so quick)
Wedged in a small chair in a little girls room
And I type and I type
To guide her search, to shine a light

You are a beautiful girl
You are kind and sweet and nice
And all I ever wished
A little girl my little girl would be
And the world is lucky
And the world is here
In your luck and your good
And you're here
And the world needs more
Of you here
For too much lurching and wanting and hate
More of you here before it's too late
For your nice and your kind
And your smile and your sweet and your just as you are.
And I will be here in the glow of your light
My strong little girl
My beautiful girl

I leave these tabs open
For the history that gets saved
A history of searches for answers
To the questions we only ask ourselves,
Questions afraid of the light.

I’d say to her in the morning (mourning it won't matter):
Beware of the answers lurking behind silences,
The instant answers that appear on screens
When silence itself is a kind of an answer.

For there will always be questions
Unpaired from answers
That I know I can’t stop from you from asking.

You have find them out yourself

Without asking

As you go on living

As you grow and you love and you live

In the light of the day
In the unanswerable darkness.


1 comment:

Oldfoolrn said...

Very touching and a happy Father's Day to a wonderful Dad.