I Would Do Anything for You
She took things into her own hands
Regarding our little mouse problem
I should have acted earlier
But I didn’t mind the little critters—
Soft and furtive and so very polite
Never making an appearance
Except for late at night or early morning and
Not that I’m advocating
For human/mouse cohabitation
For me it was like bacteria on my toothbrush—
Gross, but I can’t really see it
And I’m not going to buy a new one everyday
But then she brought up certain practicalities—
The image of mice chewing through important wires
Behind the walls. If this happens, I could see her point.
So she ordered a set of glue traps
And positioned them strategically
In key locations throughout the house
I should have been paying attention
She didn’t know this was cruel
She saw the black algal goo
As a void into which the mice
Would fall and never be seen again
One morning I heard a faint scratching
Behind a fake log in the gas fireplace
One of her traps had lured its prey
And the little guy lie there
In a gelatinous bed of black,
Wide eyed and exhausted on his back.
Eventually it would have starved to death.
Sometimes the young males rip the fur
From their skin in their frenzied escapes.
I’ve read of horrified spouses finding traps
With isolated limbs torn from torsos.
I wasn’t going to let that happen.
I carried the little torture chamber outside,
Placed it level on the driveway
And brought the head of a hammer swiftly
Down on the skull of our unfortunate prisoner.
I looked away when I swung
Like all good executioners must.
It wasn’t blood I wiped from my face
But the spattered black remains
Of an uneasiness
No one even bothers to name
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