Wednesday, July 14, 2021

poem

 Zero Sum

We’re always borrowing things

And giving them right back.

Every deep breath

Gets paid off

With a sifting

Handful of sighs.

Everything I drink

Drips to the floor

In either a puddle

Of brackish sweat

Or a thimbleful

Of fugitive tears.

Always inviting the entire world in

Just as your old self checks out.

All this bundled hope

Dissolving in puddles of doubt.

We take from our parents

And give to our kids

Who take from their kids

To fill the gaps 

That opened up

Deep inside me.

(It was all those times I gave

But could never quite accept.)

Now I’m out of juice.

I’ve already tapped the last

Of my rapidly dwindling reserves.

We’re always on the verge

Of perpetual arrears.

The dirt under my nails

That swirls down some drain.

An hour of mindless fun

Preceding a sleepless night

Of anxious despair.

Love is the thing that doesn’t change.

You can take it and you can take

It and it’s just a million

Little explosions in the sun

And it’s just the night 

Or it’s just the day, to us;

A warm summer day

Or a frigid winter’s night

Depending on our

Distance from the light,

A perfect circle on fire.

When it's extinguished

It won't matter anyway.

You can offer yourself up

And you can give and

You can give like

Lazy tropical rain

Spattering against 

The vastness of ocean,

The cloud that empties itself

Of form and substance

To no particular avail.

I am the cloud that thinks

It is a cloud that can be emptied,

That doesn’t know it was always the ocean.

There is no volume

And there was never 

A measure of weight.

This stone path is enough.

One full stride 

And then you add them all up.

(Here I go again)
I never knew how many stones,

How many steps it would take.

Far too many to count.

(Here I am again)

I keep showing up early,

Willing to learn,

But the deepest understandings

Always arrive so late.


7/14/21

No comments: