I’m incapable of forgiving anyone twice.
What did you expect?
The everlasting Christ?
My grace is the avoidance of strife
And so my mind vibrates between
A vague idiotic contentment
And the certainty that I’m
Making the biggest mistake of my life.
A father can leave once.
He can flood the earth with deluge
But he has to come back and
Arch an rainbow for an obdurate son.
He can't do it again, though.
It’s that second departure,
That buggers everything up.
Only one son ever claimed infinite mercy.
I’m too deep in my own shit,
Scrambling around, making amends
For a litany of predictable failures and
Unnecessary emotional contractures
To even notice the familiar old man
Kneeling in penitent supplication
On the cracked driveway out front,
Quietly pleading for yet another chance.
He's not really there, though,
It's all just a dream.
But I check all the time.
I'm watching from the window now.