-after James Tate
I knew a guy who believed hats evolved to fulfill a function,
Purely utilitarian, nothing to do with fashion
He further claimed that some hats
Were originally designed to fit the misshapen
Cranium of some poor soul
Who needed to get out of the house
Without a million wiseguys gawking
At his unfortunate deformity
The first pope hat, in fact, was designed for a literal inbred conehead
Napoleon's tricorne monstrosity was originally crafted by a nun
For a poor orphan girl with skull dominant acromegaly
Fascinator hats were godsends
For self conscious microencephalics
And let me introduce to you to Ahmed,
Proud inventor of the fez!
Pay no mind to
His pail shaped head
But then for some strange reason
Regular headed people found them
Fiendishly chic
Suddenly everyone had to have one
Before long we all forgot what
They’d been engineered to hide
Stopped wondering why there was
All that empty space inside
No comments:
Post a Comment