When you first come to understand yourself
And find out who you really are
It’s like nothing you ever thought
Everything clicks. It was always so obvious.
All those things you’ve done
And the ways you are,
There was always an easy explanation,
A traceable map to explain the journey
From "promising young lad" to workaholic hoarder
Clinging to crumbs
Fallen from an untouched cake,
A man so fearful of loss
He'd lost the taste for even
The foods that nourished him.
And not just a workaholic hoarder
With stones stacked around a soft heart
But an ill-equipped boy who had
To go out alone and find the stones
To build the walls to protect the heart,
Who learned too young that even
Stones come with a cost.
There was once a man sulking inside me
Scrunched up straining against the confines
Of my little boy frame
By the time I had grown into his shape
He had changed into someone else.
Always one step ahead of me, the son of a bitch.
No, this body doesn’t really fit
It has always belonged to him